You went to bible college, right? →

It was a beautiful sunny weekday, and my kids and I found ourselves at our favorite hangout spot, Disney.   Before our move to Sunny Florida, we lived in the snow tundra of Rochester, NY. I had it in mind that, as Florida residents, I would work my little side gigs and save all my pennies to have a year of Disney.  I planned to get the whole family an annual pass that would make every visit very intentional, allowing us to cross off every ride on our list.  So I did it, and after 18 months, we got our passes. I found myself in a sweet place in life, where all three of my kids were in virtual schooling, which gave us lots of flexibility. If we worked hard, we could take off a day and enjoy the perks of our annual pass.  One of the cool things about Disney is that you never know who you will meet during the occasional visit.  

On this particular day, we were making a quick restroom stop before we were off to our next ride when I spotted a familiar face.  It was a Christian singer that I used to listen to as a teenager.  I turned to my daughter, asking her if I would be embarrassing myself by introducing myself.  I don’t get embarrassed very easily, but I do take into account how many times I’ve embarrassed my children.  They’ve survived, and they will probably have more moments like this with me by their side.  To my surprise, she encouraged me to go and say hello.  So I walked up to her as she sat in the shade with her Minnie ears on, and I asked her if she was who I thought she was. She said yes! Immediately, I began to tell her what an impact her music made on my life, and how I just loved her voice.  At that very moment, her husband had come out to meet her, along with their daughter.  I panicked a little more because her husband and I actually went to the same Bible college, and he was very well known on campus for leading worship.  She introduced us, and I informed him that I was a fellow alum and that I’ve seen him lead worship from time to time.  In absolute kindness, he asked me what I was up to since then. I mumbled a few things about my time there, life since, and then said, “Yeah, but nothing in ministry.”  

Hesitant, I fumbled my response; this was always a tough question for me.  I was 20 years removed from my bible college experience, and I always felt defeated by the idea that I never finished.  Up until then, I had never really had a full-time paid position in a ministry-based environment.  Don’t get me wrong, I have volunteered in almost every facet of ministry, but there was something about working in a position of leadership that felt like an accomplishment for me.  Where I could not only grow, but that I could impart to others and watch them grow in their faith and leadership as well.  After my response, he looked at me, paused, stepped back, and pointed to all three of my kids and said, “Looks like ministry to me”.  I was so embarrassed, and I know that was not his intention, but the moment that I was trying to avoid was staring me in the face.  I instantly pivoted in the conversation and agreed.  I am in full-time ministry: my family.  We shared some more conversation, and I asked for a selfie because I’ll never miss a moment for a picture (ask my kids). 

As we walked away, I couldn’t help but feel this sting in my chest that just gnawed at me the rest of the day.  Why did I say that? I know my family is a ministry, but why didn’t I just say that?  I wrestled all day with the conversation, eventually bringing it before God in prayer.  In prayer, I was reminded of a scripture, “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.”  Proverbs 4:23. Although I wish my response would’ve been different, it came from my heart.  That was a hard truth I needed to wrestle with.  Did it mean that in my heart, I didn’t believe my family was ministry, no.  Did it mean that in my heart, I thought a leadership position was ministry, yes. The great struggle was that both were true, but look at what the rest of that chapter said: “Let your eyes look forward; fix your gaze straight ahead. Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established.”  Proverbs 4:25-26, although both sentiments were true, the scripture called me to carefully consider the path of my feet to truly be settled and established, and that, my friends, is what stood out to me.  Looking forward meant to look at what was right in front of me: my family. They would always be right in front of me, no matter what my pursuit was, because they encompassed my future.  God has called some of us to live a life a leadership in the institution of the church, but if we are looking at what the church is, it’s in the heart of every believer. In this specific season of my life, I was given this sweet and beautiful opportunity to focus on the ministry of my family, and I couldn’t see it because I was caught up in finding my value elsewhere.  

This may have felt like a chance encounter, meeting this instrumental artist, her alum husband, and their sweet daughter in the happiest place on earth.  For me, it was not; it felt divine.  Not because of who I met, but because of the rich words of wisdom they both gave me that day.  I don’t know what they had to walk through to gain that kind of perspective, but that day, they helped me open my eyes to what was right in front of me.  I was already wrestling with purpose and direction in life, and that question helped reveal some things in my heart that needed to be addressed, so I didn’t miss what was right in front of my face.  I not only tuned into my first ministry, but my family and I started taking steps in the direction of preparation.  Since that encounter, I have helped my children achieve good grades, honor roll, great bible study methods, and I have even taught them to cook a few meals here and there.  My family encouraged me to finish bible college and pursue a bachelor's in biblical studies, one of my greatest passions.  So I did just that, pacing myself in this season, because urgency will not come at the cost of my family.  God is faithful in the way that he speaks to his children, and I will forever be grateful for that Disney day encounter.  That subtle and gentle encounter changed me for the better and formed me for God’s best.            

Elephant in the room

Relationships are such an integral part of life, from your first BFF in kindergarten to the complex rivals of middle school.  Some of us are lucky to have lifelong friends, while others struggle to make an acquaintance.  The high school sweethearts who would later marry and build a beautiful life together. These relationships, although integral, are not without complexities.  Life is riddled with resistance that brings up issues of the heart; some of these painful situations aren’t so clear-cut and get trickier when the story doesn’t necessarily have a good guy or bad guy.   In life, we need people and relationships, but it takes work, hard work, and that can be messy.  That statement alone cannot encompass all the intricacies that come with two people deciding to walk together in life, whether in marriage or friendship. Differences in who we are as individuals can impact how far we can travel in a relationship.  

Will we want to face the certain difficulties that will come, and if so, how can we face what’s ahead of us with bravery? What does bravery look like? Well, let's first look at the definition: it’s the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty. Mental and moral strength in the face of danger, fear, and difficulty.  What does that look like when you’re dealing with feelings and emotions that are not exactly aligned with yours?  Do you press ahead regardless of the response?  Being brave is not so much an action you take; it's more of a look a self-reflective examination of the heart.  Because can we know anyone's heart but our own?  Even knowing our hearts can be deceptive.  Scripture tells us that 'The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.” (Jeremiah 17:9-10)  Only God could know and examine our hearts, so then why do we assume that we could truly know anyone else’s? The hard truth is that we can’t. 

How can we honor people in our lives who bring us joy in one hand and frustrations with the other? How can we accurately assess their actions towards us? Honor doesn't come easy, especially when it's accompanied by familiarity.  I’m not saying it's impossible, but more often, we find it comfortable to live with more than one elephant in the room. Picture a room with more than one elephant; it’s tight, you’re barely breathing, uncomfortable, but you have just enough negligence to never address them.  Have you ever been in a room with an elephant? It stinks, I mean, it stinks real bad.  I always thought that phrase “the elephant in the room” was more of a space issue, but can I present another perspective? It’s not a matter of discomfort, but more so the odor. The stench of tolerant conversations, without ever really letting anyone in. Questions that bring growth and clarity left unspoken carry a stench. This is no way to honor those important relationships in life. Honor means to hold in high respect, great esteem. Surfacey check-ins that give us just enough room to say we’ve “checked in” are not a way to hold others in high respect and great esteem. Is that really how we want to live our lives? Well, I can honestly say I didn’t want to live that way, but in the not-too-distant past, I found myself in a room full of people I love, along with lots of elephants.  

“I found myself in a room full of people I love, along with lots of elephants.  ”

— Nanette Soler-Rivera

I’ve found myself in this place more times than I would like to admit. Hard conversations were never difficult for me, but they weren’t always well-received.  It was easier for all parties involved to engage in the surface conversation, smile, and even tell a joke.  I could keep everyone in the room safe, but I was miserable.  I wanted more from my relationships; I wanted these people in my life, but I was unsure of how to communicate that.  My insecurities would show up when I least expected them.  Unaddressed wounds would trigger a reaction instead of a response. I found myself judging by association, often holding people hostage for offenses they never committed.  In truth, I was a mess, yet I longed for meaningful relationships.  Something had to give; I knew that for me to have healthy relationships, I needed to engage in healthy conversations, which required a healthy heart.  This was the start of a long and ongoing healing journey.

You may find yourself in this very place today, and I would like to offer some words of guidance and encouragement.  Not that I have arrived, but maybe some markers along my journey that could be of help.  First, I had to start with the only variable I could control, me. If I were going to examine the relationships in my life that seemed off, I first had to look at myself.  I started by addressing what hurt most in my life and why. Analyzing my responses and reactions, why did I do the things I did?  This led me to examine my personality, assessing traits, strengths, weaknesses, and triggers.  It was revealing and difficult, accompanied by lots of tears.  Looking at my weaknesses and trying to understand them or safeguard myself against them.  I noticed that these weaknesses dictated my thoughts, which led to my emotions, controlling my actions. It was a vicious cycle I had no idea I was in.  These were sobering moments where I addressed my shortcomings, but not neglecting the effects of trauma in my life.  I didn’t have a perfect childhood, but I grew up in a loving home with two parents who were still working through their healing.  This season was one where I sorted through pain that was both inflicted and self-inflicted. A huge part of this process was forgiving those who would never utter the words I’m sorry. Once I was able to own my part in the dysfunction, then I could forgive what I couldn’t understand.  

Scripture led me to believe that although our hearts were wicked, God had a remedy for it. In Psalms 51:10, David is confronted about a choice he made. One in which a lot of people were hurt. His prayer “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”  Only God could take what is wicked and renew it.  How was he going to do this? It would come through my choice to surrender.  Laying every judgment and assumption down, knowing that the same God who was dealing with my heart loved them enough to do the same.  When the unknown would overwhelm me, I could turn to the scriptures to find certainty. For instance, in Hebrews 4:12 (Amp) it states, 'For the word of God is living and active and full of power [making it operative, energizing, and effective]. It is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating as far as the division of the soul and spirit [the completeness of a person], and of both joints and marrow [the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and judging the very thoughts and intentions of the heart.”  I found such great comfort in knowing he knew my heart and that if there was something there that was not right, no matter how noble I made it, he would reveal and sort it out until all that was left was his truth.         

As taxing as that year in my life was, I learned a lot, mainly that progress in relationships would take bravery.  Not just to address the difficult things but also to honor those important and messy relationships in life.  I needed people in my life, no matter how hard that was. As humans, we are designed for community, but as humans, we are also not as gentle to those who’ve been through storms.  Learning to be kind to those around me helped me to extend grace.  My encouragement for you today is that you would be brave, put the work in, and find a place of healing so we can truly learn to live honoring one another in this life.  

Oh, the stories we will tell.

Motherhood, you might be years beyond it, in the thick of it, or still waiting for it.  So before I dive into this subject I would like to talk to all the women out there who have not reached their desired status with motherhood this post is not meant to make you feel like an outsider.  I see you and hope you are able to embrace the message I am trying to share.  

What sentiments are stirred when you think about motherhood? For some, it is guilt for the moments missed, for others absolute bliss, and then there are those who find this subject to be too painful. I think if we are honest it's a little bit of everything. One of life's many blessings comes with uncertainty and challenges beyond what we feel prepared or equipped for. We are supposed to face these challenges with grace and hope and that is not always easy.

In my experience, most of my memories consist of Tuesday morning snuggles, fun crafts, and activities, sprinkled with some failures and disappointments that carry such a sense of guilt.  I was a working mom with two babies under two with my only day off being Tuesdays.  I envied moms who were able to enjoy the toddler years without the weight of working a full-time job as well as nurturing a budding marriage. I often wore my challenges and regret like blinders unable to see what was right in front of me. Ten years later and it still stings.

Now let’s fast forward to the year 2022 when our IG feeds are filled with influencers who are not only moms but designers, creatives, and CEOs.  Most days while I scroll through IG I sigh a prayer of gratitude that while I was in those rough yet formative years, IG was still in its early stages.

In this Instagram-perfect world, even that target mom who is sharing her baby’s explosive diaper/outfit change story is a little hard to relate to.  You know the story…baby just had an explosive diaper and it soiled the last set of clothes in the diaper bag.  Her hair and makeup, is flawless! I don’t know about you but these are tough for me. Not that I don’t have a few stories of my own because lord knows I do.  I just don’t remember mine going as smoothly as hers. In fact, I am certain I wasn’t even at target, I had no idea where my phone was and not nearly enough concealer to get that perfect #bathroomselfie.  I promise you I’m not hating on this instamom, I’m impressed. She not only knew where her phone was but the bathroom lighting was on point.  What made it hard wasn’t that I couldn’t relate it was that I was too busy comparing my story to hers. 

Isn’t that what we always do, compare our stories.  Friends, if we are not careful, comparison can be an imbalanced scale where we weigh our experiences with others and find that it comes up short.  We convince ourselves that our story is not grand enough, therefore has no value.  We lock it away robbing those around us of knowing that they are not alone.  Our stories were meant to be told. Our struggles were meant to be shared, how we survived matters.  I guarantee you that some detail in your story will resonate with one soul and even if it’s just one wouldn’t that be worth it! 

All these years later I still struggle with hiding my stories because I didn’t see the value. Always comparing; comparing my pain, my frustrations, my victories my story would never be enough. 

a few years back we were visiting with some friends and I was reminded of my early years in motherhood.  When we first met our friends they were newlyweds with no kids. We were 7 years married with a 4yr old & 2yr old.  We quickly became friends that did life together, we went to concerts and dinners. Eventually began working alongside them in a college/young adult ministry.  Sharing life and ministry gave them a front-row seat to our parenting style. The winging-it style, very popular among the parents who’ve never read a parenting book in their lifetime. With not a lot of options for child care, we brought our kids everywhere and found ourselves in precarious situations.  We’d carry on conversations with college students while our screaming toddlers would beg for cookies we’ve already said no to. in desperate moments we would distract them with lollipops while giving them the look. They would convince the team members to download games on their phones(BTW they still do this today so if my kids ask you if you have games on your phone, run). The chaos was unreal but we made the best of it and hoped no one would remember.

During this visit, all five of our children were running around the house screaming and laughing. My friend and I sat at the counter watching them run back and forth. She shared with me that when it comes to parenting she thinks back to the days when my kids were little. It’s a reminder to her that even on the unusual days, all of this is very normal.  We both laughed but her words resonated; If she only knew that those days felt far from normal for me.  Balancing, life, motherhood, and ministry with grace was not my strength. In fact, I was convinced I was giving it a bad name.  The season I called “chaos” became an offering, a common ground where she could sigh a breath of relief. On a tough day my friend that sigh is a gift. All of a sudden my shameful mommy moments came full circle and I realized that my story had a purpose. Those raw and unfiltered moments made space for her to weigh what was really important. She ripped a page from a story I didn’t want anyone to know about, she made room for it and it helped navigate her story.

Friends don’t hide your story no matter how imperfect it may seem to you. Embracing your not-so-perfect moments make room for God’s grace. You don’t have to sweat the small stuff just continue to look for opportunities to do better. When moments of comparison try to creep in, take a deep breath, search inwardly and ask God to reveal his plan of growth and healing for your life. There is a life out there that will be deeply impacted by yours and even if it is just one it will be worth it.

-Nanette

Held

Held is an evening dedicated to women from all walks of life, gathering together with one thing in common they have experienced a loss of an infant, pregnancy, or had miscarriage. October 15th is the day where 1 in 4 women set aside time to remember their babies. The held service provides a space for women to find a place of peace in the midst of their grief. I attended my very first held service in 2017 (10 years after my first loss) and it changed my life forever. I learned that so many women suffer silently. So when my husband was relocated to another city I knew that I needed to carry on this service even if I was miles away from where it started. Our very first held event was so healing and it opened my eyes to the need in every city all over this world. So many women grieve alone and suffer silently, this evening creates a space where we can find community. In this blog I want to share the written record from our very first HELD Orlando 2018 event. This was the first time in the 11 years of grieving that I had shared my story publicly. My hope in sharing was to let all of you who endured a loss know three things:

1. This is not your final chapter

2. You are not alone. (Including your spouse) 

3. Your pain could bring solace to another heart.

My Story (held 2018)

 What does it mean to Remember? To be able to bring to one's mind an awareness of (someone or something that one has seen, known, or experienced in the past. 

When we take the time to remember, we take the time to say I see you, I know you, we have history together. One of the things that I love about this definition is that there no qualifying time frame.  For those of us who carried a child know that from the moment you saw that plus sign or the double pink lines you started dreaming , and planning , the only thing on your mind was that baby.  No matter what happened you were always going to remember that baby.  So tonight as we share our story in this room I want you to share from a place of remembrance.  I’ll start my name is Nanette and I am a mother of six, three angel babies and three living children. These little lives NO MATTER THE TIME FRAME have made such a big impact on our hearts and they deserve to be honored tonight.  

• Now before I share my story I wanted to take the time to thank all the women who have came along side of me in putting this entire event together.  With out you this would have still been written in my journal some where. But because of this wonderful community who has rallied with me……you’ve made all of this possible. 

• Last year around this time I had the privilege to participate in the first held service back in my hometown of Rochester NY.  I did not know what to expect from that evening. To be quite honest I was scared.  Scared of what kind of emotions would be invoked what would come to the forefront of my mind while we were remembering our babies these thoughts petrified me. Can I tell you it was an evening filled with so much HOPE!!!  I was surrounded by women who had also experienced a loss that week, some 40 years ago.  It just felt safe and sparked a journey of community for me.  I wanted those around me who were grieving to know that they are not alone and that together we can find hope.  And thats why we are here tonight.  

MY STORY, that life changing moment, a great loss, the moment I thought would undo me.  I still remember the person I was before that day and in some ways there were parts of me that I never saw again after that …it just changed me.  If any of you are avid readers you will understand that feeling of when you are reading a book and you look at the amount of pages that are left, and all the unanswered questions you have and you think to yourself there is no way that going to have a resolve by the time I reach the back cover.                        

This is my sentiment about death, in fact when we are dealing with the frailty of life and death the questions always outweigh the answers, the uncertainty of it all leaves us outside of ourselves.   Innocent, naive Nanette truly believed that if she ever had to face death she would not survive it.  But I am here to tell you that I did and it was not my final chapter.

In 2007 my husband and I found out we were expecting and my pregnancy began like many pregnancies, the excitement of the unknown and the fear of “Uhm?, can I really do this”.  I had some concerns throughout out my pregnancy like every other mom.  And as I grew so did my concerns but towards the end my once very active little guy slowed down,  a lot!  We called made appts but they sent home with the reassurance that all of this was very normal. 

 One of our last drs appts ended with an ultrasound and three simple words “I’m so sorry.” Here we were...A young married couple who celebrated their second wedding anniversary just the week before; we sat in disbelief and wept.  So many questions? what in the world just happened?! what do we do now?  Before our loss I’ve always wondered why bad things happened to good people.  Now here we were staring into the face of a very bad thing, our boy was gone!  Some of you have you have faced this or you walked someone you love through this,  your loss like mine was devastating, but it’s not your final chapter.

This news came at us fast and doctors were in and out of the room.  It was like an out of body experience I could see us sitting in that room, broken.  I could hear my husband informing our family members through tears.  I could share just how very tragic this all was but today I wanted to share with you the glimmers of hope we found each step of the way. 

Our first glimmer was our Nurse Practitioner, we shared many conversations over the course of my pregnancy she was always encouraging me in my pregnancy and in my faith. As we were leaving the office this same Nurse practitioner found my husband and I and told us we needed to prepare both mentally and spiritually so she asked us if we could go somewhere to do that.  

Our church was minutes from the drs office so she took us there.  We were met by our pastors and we were held and prayed for for hours before we felt ok enough to go to the hospital and begin the induction process.    

Second glimmer was when leaving the church we were met by our family members who then took us to the hospital so we could meet our baby boy. They stay bed side writing Scriptures on pieces of paper and tapping them to the walls of the hospital room.  When ever I was overcome with fear, pain, and began to cry my brother in law would begin to play and sing worship to God and singing songs of hope.  From the time I heard the words I’m sorry I went from shattered to seeing moments of faith building inside of me.  

That day I wasn’t alone in my pain, my husband who is quite literally my knight in shining armor and protector was broken and hurting. He could not guard himself let alone protect me, we were both wounded and in need of protecting. We were the first ones in our immediate family to experience this kind of loss yet they surrounded us and never left us alone.  They were God’s voice in the room showing us that we were not alone.  After many hours of pain, intense labor and awful pain meds I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy.  When he entered this world he was already gone but the celebration that filled the room was one that you dream about telling your kids every night before bed. He was finally here and I stared into his beautiful face wishing his little eyes would look up at mine.  Everyone in the room greeted him with hugs and kisses. We held him, we loved on him, we cried over him, and we named him Judah Gabriel: which means Praise, God is my strength! 

The third glimmer of hope was the day we left the hospital, as we were getting ready to leave a nurse told me this is not the way it’s supposed to happen.  She told me “You are going to walk out next to women who have given birth; mothers who are going home with their babies”. She said “You keep your chin up because this is not the end of your story; you will be back, you will have more children” and she was right I did.  I was back the following year and gave birth to the most fiery little redhead my princess, my rainbow baby. Fifteen months later I had a very impatient five pound baby who made his entrance six weeks early and he’s been on his own schedule since. Lastly we took a three year break and endured the heartbreak of two miscarriages I had the most amazing little brunette who melts my heart every time he refers to himself in third person. 

When people ask me how I made it his far or how can I talk about such a painful moment in my life. The truth is I don’t have a 3 step answer for you, all I can tell you is that this picture (below) was my anchor in the storm,  this is how my husband and I walked through the valley of death. We made it through because we had each other.  Truth is we need each other, you are not alone, you were never meant to walk this out alone.  I share my story because our pain can be a healing balm to someone else. In the midst of our grief we can help each other find hope. We can find life in community.    

“This year due to COVID-19 we are not able to meet in person but if you would like to join us in lighting a candle for your baby we will be lighting candles at 7pm local time on October 15th 2020. tag #heldrochester or #heldorlando and let us know that you are here. We are here for you. ”

When do you start? Now!

Like many of you I started this year with a pen and paper in hand ready to plan for the “BEST YEAR EVER”. What goals will I reach? which things will I cut out of my life (and diet)? and most importantly when will I start? 

Have you heard the phrase "no better time than the present"? Maybe at church, school, or motivational speakers.  This phrase was first recorded in 1562 and it still holds its weight in 2020 gracing IG and FB feeds everywhere. But how do we take a phrase like that and put it into action? Most of us start with a list #1. Apply for our dream job #2. More disciplined healthy lifestyle #3. Finally paint that guest bathroom. Whatever it is, one thing is for sure it will require work. In fact, what usually stands in our way is that our desire doesn’t always match our dedication.

If you are anything like me you might lay in bed at the end of the day thinking about that last load of laundry that you didn’t fold and put away, then all of a sudden unfolded laundry turns into “I suck at life?!” (I know I am a bit dramatic, bear with me) we tie a lot of our success in life to our daily accomplishments.  And if you have an off day you can get pretty discouraged.  But let me encourage you my friend, you are not alone!  We all have off days it’s part of the journey. When we hear phrases like “we are all allotted the same 24 hours in a day as…(actor, designer, blogger)” it can be daunting. Yes, how we use our 24hrs does determine where we are going but for a second let’s not compare ourselves to others. Instead lets use this gift of seeing their success to figure out just how they did it. My reason for writing is not to reprimand but rather to reignite a passion or fan a dimly lit flame.

Today as I sit at my kitchen table/office/the new lunch spot ( thank you COVID-19), I think about all that has changed in the last four months, even the last five years. Due to the recent events of COVID-19 we’ve ventured from distance learning to complete virtual schooling. When I think about this rare opportunity I’ve been given to provide a safe space for my children to continue learning while we are in the midst of a state mandated quarantine, I am grateful. In fact i’m running my photography business along with freelance graphic work/creative consulting contracts all while being a SAHM. This was not always the case, just 6 years ago I was working as a medical secretary. I enjoyed helping patients, and gave it my best working for some talented health professionals. While at work I missed my children terribly, in the back of my head I would dream up scenarios where I get to be home with my kiddos and still financially contribute to my household.  The dreaming often frustrated more than it inspired me. Riddled with questions like, why do my goals outweigh my accomplishments? 7 years felt like a long time to dream without seeing any fruit. I want to share with you what I did during this season of waiting.

Faith being such an important part of my life, often I would seek answers in scriptures like “The steps of a good man are ordered of the Lord.” (psalms 37:23) while that was very encouraging I was looking for a five step plan (any enneagram 6’s out there?). I needed the details, who, what, where, when, why and most importantly how? Dreaming was always the easy part; it's when you start to work out those details where you begin to find the obstacles.  Another reason why I am writing to you today, encouraging you to not lose hope! Dreaming my friends requires faith and bravery, Faith to plan and bravery to start. 

Which brings me back to the scripture in psalms 37:23 “The steps of a good man are ordered of the Lord.”, the word that stood out was “steps”. Steps is an action word and requires just that, action. This means that you should start moving even when you don’t have all the details in order.  While I was dropping kids off at daycare and going to work I was still preparing. Some actions I took that you can also take while you're in your waiting season are:

1. Planning: Deciding which plan of action best fits your life style and figuring out how you will implement it.

2. Learning: In this age of information we are a few you tube videos away form mastering so many skills.

3. Praying: Do not forsake the small and steady moments in prayer. We have a God who cares about every detail.

4. Write it all down: Documenting is such an important part of the journey. This was one of the ways I combatted discouragement. Looking back and reminding yourself just how far you have come helps you keep your eyes on the prize.  

We often confuse success with the place of arrival and not the process in which it takes to get there. Most people don’t embrace their failures, they just quit.  Some take for granted these slow seasons in life. Looking back I realized those moments gave me the time to catch my breath, improve my skill and perfect my gifts.  Friends, these small and steady steps are important ones, because of the promise that they are ordered of the Lord. All of those years in the medical field I was still planning, learning, and praying and it brought me here.

The simplicity and wonder of it all is that dreams don’t need a perfected plan, just a plan.  So you don’t have to wait, you can start now!  Take out those planners, notebooks, post-it notes and start taking steps.  Planning so when the right opportunity comes along or when this quarantine is lifted, you will be ready. Don’t waste the pain and disappointments of life’s fleeting moments. They are not missed opportunities, they're just practice. Use these experiences, gain inspiration, and use it to push you in the right direction. Friend, let today be the start of something beautiful.

Nanette